Slam Poetry: When I Was Thirteen

Spoken by her

When I was 13 I didn't believe 
that I was beautiful
so when people told me I was 
beautiful I wanted to look them 
in the eyes and ask them what 
that meant
what is beautiful, what do you
mean by that
but instead
I would smile and say thank you
because I don't want to come 
across as rude not accepting
their comment but how do you 
accept the compliment you don't 
understand, you don't believe my
entire life I never felt 
beautiful 
I was told I wasn't the point
that I believe that I wasn't 
because of the way that I look 
not because of who Iam because
of my appearance
I was not beautiful I looked in 
the mirror and thought that was 
all beauty could be when you can
see in a mirror is when I 
thought he was because the world 
around me was telling me that 
that is beauty
so when I looked in the mirror
and only saw things that I wish
I could change
I didn't feel beautiful I saw my
acne no gap between my thighs my 
discolored teeth
I didn't feel beautiful when 
someone would say something like
God doesn't make mistakes
I would want to raise my hand
and say well what about me what
about me
because I felt like a mistake I 
always felt like I couldn't feel
beautiful because every movie
every song that I heard told me
that I couldn't without the 
validation of others they would 
say you don't know you're 
beautiful but here Iam to tell
you that you are so that means 
that you are but why why can't I 
feel beautiful on my own 
that was until I realized that I 
can it all changed one day when
I was a library and a girl
laughed out loud at the book she
was reading
hi I thought to myself that is 
beautiful and it confused me for 
a moment because I wasn't
talking about her appearance
I ran home and looked in the 
mirror and ask myself are you 
beautiful and for the first time
in my life I responded with yes 
yes you are
I repeated it 10 20 30 times
until I was consumed with the 
thought I am beautiful I finally 
didn't see my appearance
I saw the people that I love
around me in a sea of support 
I said things in the world that 
make me happy I saw the little
things about me that makes me
unique and different from the 
rest of the people in the world 
of my finally felt beautiful 
I want to walk that night and 
name something beautiful about 
everything around me I could
finally see beauty and 
everything around me 
that was everything to me and if
I could tell them me that didn't
know her worth or the fact that  
she is beautiful 
anything it would be this some
people live their entire lives 
without knowing that they're
beautiful 
some people die with the thought
Iam NOT beautiful understand
that beauty is perception though
there is a dictionary definition 
of the word beauty beauty has no 
real definition because it is 
redefined everyday and you you
are a definition of beautiful
someone finds your laugh your
intelligence your thoughts and 
every little thing you don't
like about yourself beautiful 
and who are you to tell them 
they aren't you are blinded by 
your insecurities and hid away
by your fear but please try and 
no true beauty
because when I was 13 I wish I
knew
how beautiful Iam 


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